Friday, January 20, 2012

H.E.A.R.T. Chapter 2


Chapter 2 E.-Enrich your Marriage

Okay this week was a bit convicting at times. Especially when she talked about serving our husbands, and trying to ease the enormous load they must shoulder. I know many husbands who are far less busy than mine so I should jump at the chance to help him when he asks. Instead I grumble (usually it’s to myself but I’m sure he knows I’m not overjoyed by having him add something else to my ‘to do’ list).

In this chapter she points out the fact that children are more secure when they see their parents living out a ‘healthy’ example of marriage. They need to feel there is something in their lives that is for sure, stable, consistent, etc.  But they don’t need fake. They need to know it’s okay to disagree---it doesn’t mean you don’t still love each other. Something's they will learn by watching their parents (as listed on pages 66-67) are:

  • Trust
  • Sacrifice
  • Loyalty
  • Teamwork
  • Forgiveness
  • Cooperation
  • Communication
  • Responsibility
  • Perseverance
  • Joy
  • Diligence
  • Kindness
  • Gentleness
  • Grace

They need that ‘healthy’ example of what a marriage should look like. What we are living in front of them is going to impact how they view marriage in general.

“We need to point our kids toward the values of sacrifice and selflessness as seen on the cross of Calvary. This is the standard of ultimate love defined by dying to oneself and living for the lord. Now that is something worth living for.” (page 68)

One final thought, I love that she doesn’t follow the belief that we need to make our kids happiness a priority. Not that we need to make them miserable but there are so many kids in the world today that never (or rarely) have to deal with disappointment or struggle all because their parents want them to be ‘happy.’ Well, the sad part is they are going to be some very unhappy adults when they leave mom and dad and enter the real world of disappointments and struggles. A very wise friend once told me that God is more concerned with my holiness than with my happiness. I belief there is so much truth in those words!

I’m not the only one talking about this book…check out The Pelsers to see what others had to say.

Get yourself a copy of H.E.A.R.T.


MomLaur said...

I never thought I thought that my kids happiness was more important than serving my husband, but looking back over the last little while of homeschooling and busyness, I can see that it has indeed taken precedence over my relationship with my marriage. Something I'm working hard on now!

Amanda @ The Pelsers said...

Putting my husband before my kids can be tough but I'm learning. I want a marriage that my kids can see as a great example for their marriages.

Lynn said...

As a mom its sometimes hard to put your husband before your kids because your kids always seem to want or need you more but I've learned over the past few years that when I put my husband's needs before my children's the family dynamic is better. Thanks for sharing

Jen G said...

Oh, I like that..."God is more concerned with my holiness than with my happiness!" I hear all the time from my little guy..."I am NOT happy"...thanks for giving me a new saying to share with him! ;-)

Heather said...

Marie! I didn't realize you were doing this study:) Awesome!! When I think about you doing chapter 2, I have a lot of sympathy!! Seriously, because your children are all little. I have older ones..teens and one little, now, so I feel like I can even begin to focus on my husband:) Really, when the kids were younger, we just worked so hard getting through each day. We would get everyone to bed and lie down and laugh at each "Oh, my gosh, we did it. Is it Friday, yet?" I love my husband, but I feel like we did get in a rut, just being work partners. He says No, we didn't. But whatever. I did:) I like this time, when I have enough energy to think about "us" again. And, deep down, I suppose I have done Chapter 2 enough to make it though!! :) I will say, it seems more important these days to be a "good" mom than to be a "good" wife. That is backwards! So happy to see you on here.

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